08 Jun Lose 5 pounds in 5 days
Lose 5 pounds in 5 days
How many times have you heard an advertisement on TV or read something in a magazine promoting a crazy fad diet that promises “You, too, can lose 5 pounds in just 5 days”? Or “20 pounds in 20 days”? Or 30…. You get the idea. We are constantly bombarded with this crap. The diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. And because we are generally unhappy with our bodies, as we subconsciously compare ourselves to the air-brushed and slimified models that grace the covers of magazines, we buy into the bullshit and pray for the miracles.
Well, what if I were to tell you that you really CAN lose 5 pounds in 5 days? No pills. No starving yourself. No gimmicks. I’m not trying to sell you anything here, folks. It IS possible, but it’s tough. Well, tough may be an understatement. Depending on what your current eating habits are, it may be more than tough. It may SUCK! But hey, if you are up for the challenge, then I’ll be right here with you- guiding you through it and answering any questions you may have.
Let me start by saying, this is not a program I recommend to do on a daily basis. It’s not even something I do on a monthly basis. This is my once a year ( or perhaps once every 2 years) “break the glass, we have an emergency” program. I repeat… this “5 pounds in 5 days” program is only IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. And by “emergency” I mean, you’ve eaten like shit the week before, because you’ve been PMS-ing. You’ve given yourself one too many free passes where you felt you deserved to sit down with that entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. And now you are in your comfy, fat-girl, sweats because your jeans are too tight. Ugghh! And then… ring, ring, ring… Your friend calls to invite you to a spur of the moment beach party that’s in 5 days! Yes, THAT kind of emergency.
With a mouthful of Peanut M&M’s, you reluctantly accept the invitation.. And now you’ve got 5 days to get your shit together so that you don’t feel like a beached whale in that new bikini you bought last month (when you actually did have your shit together).
If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while now, you know that I don’t actually own a scale (and neither should you by the way). So, I can’t promise you that you will lose 5 pounds, but I CAN guarantee that you will LOOK like you’ve lost 5 pounds, your jeans will fit you much looser, and you will regain your confidence to strut your stuff in that bikini.
Here we go…. 5 Days – 5 Pounds
2. DRINK A GALLON OF DISTILLED WATER. We all know that we should be drinking 8 glasses of water per day. Well, during this diet emergency, you should double that amount. You need to flush out your system. Try to drink at least a gallon per day for 5 days.
3. STAY AWAY FROM ALL DAIRY. Butter, yogurt, and cheese are dairy, folks. Milk is the more obvious no-no, but there is dairy hidden in many different foods. There is even dairy in chocolate. So, unless you are about to murder someone, put the chocolate down for 5 days, even if it is surrounding an almond. Dairy causes inflammation in your body. Thinking you need dairy for the calcium? You can get plenty of calcium from dark leafy greens.
4. EAT LIKE A BEAR. That’s right, a bear. Eat salmon, raw nuts, and berries. Skip the honey though. Your body doesn’t distinguish between honey and regular white table sugar. Add leafy greens and other veggies to the bear diet, and that’s all you need. It’s just 5 days.
5. DON’T SKIP MEALS. To keep your bowels moving and your metabolism at its peak, you HAVE to eat. Skipping meals slows your metabolism and makes you fat. FORCE yourself to eat a bite just before bed, and eat raw almonds with lemon water the minute you wake.
6. ADD EXTRA FIBER. Fiber is your friend (future blog to come). You should always be eating foods high in fiber. But on the “5 days-5 pounds emergency program,” add 2 fiber pills per day just before bed. Increase to 3 pills per day.
7. ADD EXTRA BURSTS OF EXERCISE. Even if you work out like a kick-ass super hero, do a bit extra throughout the day. Set your alarm on your phone every hour on the hour. When the alarm goes off, do a burst of exercise, such as push-ups or jumping jacks for 30 seconds. Then re-set your alarm for the next hour. In addition, associate a daily activity, such as brushing your teeth, with an ADDED exercise boost.
8. NO SALT. Do not add salt to anything. Check labels. Salt (and sugar) are in everything. Squeeze some lemon on your salmon instead of using salt. Remember we are trying to get rid of all of that water retention caused from the bag of Doritos.
9. STAY AWAY FROM ALL SUGAR. This is an obvious one, folks. I’m not going to go into detail about this. Sugar makes you fat. Period. And it is in everything!
10. THINK THIN. Seems strange? Well, the power of positive thinking and visualization is very real. Your mind can do amazing things. Write down your goal on a piece of paper and tape it on your refrigerator.
So, there you have it. Most of what you will lose is water weight. That’s okay. This is not a long-term solution. It is a quick fix to get you back on track. You WILL feel lighter. You WILL look thinner. And IF you had a scale, the number will definitely be scale will be noticeably reduced.